Lonely.

So tell me:
Would you rather be lonely
holding his hand?
or your own?

Connection.

There are worse things in life
than having a connection with someone
that you lose your mind over.

Rough.

I’ll be your calm before the storm;
& you can be my rough water.

Homesick.

My Heart,
I know you’re homesick,
But please try to remember:
love doesn’t live here anymore.

But If Not, Then

I hope that you’re out there missing me,
that you’re listening for my laughter in the rustling of leaves,
that you’re hearing my footsteps in the passing of wind,
that the fall reminds you of our beginning.
But if not, then
I hope the silence speaks volumes,
that it’s curling up in the space beside you every night,
that it’s whispering my name,
that it’s humming sentiments of promises you’ll never let yourself keep.
But if not, then
I hope you’ll never again know a heart like mine,
but instead sit alone with the warmth of what could have been,
while it asks you “was it worth losing her?”
But if you cannot answer, then
I hope you’ll never know a bigger regret.

Parts.

The hardest part of letting go
is every single part.

Winter.

Autumn makes me miss you..
But then I remember everything dies with winter.

A Long Overdue Litany

 

I remember telling myself that in the end I’ll be stronger.
Through the beating days and hollow nights,
I somehow found myself at dusk.
There, where the starts fought with battle cries for dominance over a larger one,
I remember breathing in that innocent air,
and swallowing up that sanity,
that’s been long overdue.
There, where the shadows dance and mix amongst the pastel sky,
I remember squeezing my tired eyes shut,
And swallowing that uncertainty in my chest,
that’s been long overdue.
There, where the chill of the night sky danced along my flesh
and filled up my aching lungs entirely,
I remember releasing my clenched fists
and accepting hope, palms-up.
I remember telling myself that in the end I’ll be stronger.