But If Not, Then

I hope that you’re out there missing me,
that you’re listening for my laughter in the rustling of leaves,
that you’re hearing my footsteps in the passing of wind,
that the fall reminds you of our beginning.
But if not, then
I hope the silence speaks volumes,
that it’s curling up in the space beside you every night,
that it’s whispering my name,
that it’s humming sentiments of promises you’ll never let yourself keep.
But if not, then
I hope you’ll never again know a heart like mine,
but instead sit alone with the warmth of what could have been,
while it asks you “was it worth losing her?”
But if you cannot answer, then
I hope you’ll never know a bigger regret.

Lungs.

Sometimes its all you can do
to wish that deep breath
would reach the bottom
of those hopeful lungs.

Blackest.

Of all the darkness in the world,
that place in the back of your thoughts is the blackest.

Lesser.

I have a hard time deciding whether or not
you are smiling
because it’s the lesser of two evils.

Just The Other Day…

Just the other day, I saw the sun.
I’d forgotten of our history
Those years it kissed my shoulders
Those moments I felt alive.
From time to time, I’d hide away beneath the waiting shade,
With knees to check, I’d lose myself
Behind shaded silence.
I’d lost you on the other side of that silver living.
The darker side.
The side less traveled.
But the other day, I saw the sun.
I folded up that map I’d traveled with my finger
Never certain on where I’d forgotten who I was.
I heard you call through the rustle of greening leaves.
I recognized your pleading in a bird’s ballad.
Just the other day, I left my worries in the dark.
I crossed that silver living that swallowed up my doubt
And laced my fingers through a fist of grass, & a flower through my hair.
Even though I’d lost myself, you’d never let me stray.
Just the other day, I found blind happiness–
In the rustling of greening leaves.
In the pleading of a bird’s ballad.
In the beauty of a flower.
In the honesty of the unknown
In the warm embrace of a season.
Just the other day, I saw the sun.